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Savage Love
Savage Love: From Soft Swaps to Swinging, Don’t Get Carried Away
I’ve been with my partner for three years and we recently decided to dip our toes in the waters of swinging. We were on agreement about only doing “soft swaps” to start and then seeing where it led. We met up with a few couples and hit it off with…
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Columns
Savage Love: When Fantasizing During Sex Ends up Biting You in the Ass
So, my husband (42-year-old straight male) and I (38-year-old bi female) have had a closed relationship so far, but we have an active fantasy life. We’ve been together for about four years, and we both had our fair share of partners (casual and serious) before that. We like fantasizing about…
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Columns
Savage Love: Not Into Dating a Trans Man? Please Show Yourself Out
I have a friend who is a trans man. Recently, he just got out of a shitty relationship. His ex suddenly lost interest in him and wouldn’t work with him on fixing it. He’s heartbroken. He told me women often reject him once they find out he is trans and…
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Columns
Savage Love: Can a Non-Binary Person Label Themselves a Lesbian?
I have a fun little labeling question. I’m a non-binary person who was assigned male at birth (AMAB). I gravitate towards femininity in life and in love. My question is about the inclusiveness of the label “lesbian.” Is this a label only for women? Or is it inclusive of everyone…
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Columns
Savage Love: Get Your Head Out of Your Ass and off the Dating Apps
I’m a 44-year-old gay male and I’ve never been in a serious relationship. I would like to find my way into an LTR, but I have a series of overlapping dating issues that I don’t know how to navigate. First, due to my career, I move around a lot, and…
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Columns
Savage Love: Woman Exploring Adult Baby/Diaper Lovers Navigates Role
I want to correct you on something you’ve said repeatedly: A man can “hide” his bisexual orientation. I disagree. I felt my boyfriend was gay or bi immediately, but he flatly denied it. But it was so obvious! He sucked at sex, he never initiated and he was clueless about…
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Savage Love
Savage Love: What’s an Anxious Cuckquean To Do?
I’m a 33-year-old straight female, been with my husband for 10 years, married for six. When we first started dating, I was an extremely jealous person. Fortunately, I got it under control with lots of therapy. But once I did, I started having fantasies about him hooking up with other…
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Columns
Savage Love: A FinDom Helped My Brother Save $120K
I’m a woman in her forties in a relationship with a man and I have my first STI with symptoms. Genital warts — yay! I noticed them about two months ago (near my b-hole) and went to the gyno today and had them treated. My question is, do I need…
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Columns
Savage Love: Age Gaps and Abuse of Power
Thirty-year-old trans woman here, Dan, and I have a question about what is surely one of your favorite subjects: the “age gap discourse.” About four years ago, I had a sexual experience that I go back and forth on whether to label as sexual assault. When I was 26 years…
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Columns
Savage Love Quickies: Sexting Is Ruining My Post-Breakup Life
I’m a cis woman. I had a quasi-relationship with a man last year that only lasted a couple of months. The sex was great, and sexting was always a big part of our connection. Since the breakup, we’ve fluctuated between staying in touch and radio silence, sometimes going months without…
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Columns
Savage Love: My Boyfriend’s Urine Fetish Is Getting Out of Hand
I’m worried this may be above your pay grade. LOL. My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly five years. When we first got together, he shared a fetish with me, which has honestly gotten out of hand. I’m not close-minded and I genuinely love pleasing people, and my…
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Columns
Savage Love: Role-Playing as a Straight Strict Dom Top
I’m a 26-year-old masculine straight guy who loves exploiting the fantasies so many gay men have about straight men. When a gay guy is into me because I look like his straight-masculine-jock dream, it’s a power trip like no other. It’s always a specific type of bottom gay dude I…
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Savage Love
Savage Love: My Massage Therapist Got All Touchy-Feely
I’m a 35-year-old straight woman living in the Midwest. I was seeing a massage therapist for three years and we became very close friends. I referred my friends to him and helped him grow his business. He eventually disclosed to me that he had developed feelings for me. I went into instant…
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Savage Love
Savage Love: Eating Dick on the Job
I’m a gay man. After a decade together and five years of marriage, my husband informed me he wasn’t really interested in sex anymore. That was a year ago and we haven’t had sex since. He told me I should leave him if regular sex was “really that important” to…
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Columns
Savage Love: Counseled Culture
Hello! I am a heterosexual man! My wife came out as a lesbian after thirty years of marriage. We have children together and we love each other. Therefore, we’ve decided not to divorce. We visited some therapists and they all coerced us to divorce, even though we really do not…
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Columns
Savage Love: Micropenis Surprise
I’m a woman who recently went out on a third date with a man. I invited him back to my place and we started making out, which led to him going down on me. Moments later, he took off his pants and to my surprise he had a micropenis. I…
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