Savage Love
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Savage Love: All Choked Up
I’m a 29-year-old straight woman in Pennsylvania. My question has to do with choking and consent. I’ve had two experiences in the past six months or so where someone has tried to choke me without my consent. The first time this happened, I coughed immediately but he tried multiple times…
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Savage Love: When Divorce Is Not an Option
I’ve been married for thirty years to the same man. I have dealt with his tantrums, his screaming, and his fits. He’s always had anger management issues. He strangled me once a few months after our son was born and never did it again. I would have left otherwise. He’s…
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Savage Love: Making Your List and Checking It Twice
I’m a cis male in my late twenties. I’ve recently become consumed by a specific fantasy I fear is unattainable, a fear that has been made worse by several failed attempts to research it. A little background: Except for a couple dates and make-out sessions with other men, my sex…
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Savage Love: The Mastery of Marriage… But Why Bother?
I’m a 38-year-old bi woman who has been sleeping with a married male coworker for the last eight months. We’re a walking cliché: I’m a nurse, he’s a doctor, and one night he ended up spilling a lot of personal information about his marriage to me (sexless, non-romantic, she might…
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Savage Love: A Small Price to Pay for a Good Man
I’m a gay guy who’s involved with a guy I met a few months before COVID-19 took off. He’s a good man — smart, funny, hot, healthy and easy to be around. It started as a hookup but we have chemistry on several levels and, without either of us having…
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Savage Love: How to Make Coworker Relationships Less Awkward
I’m a twenty-something more-or-less lesbian in an East Coast city. I’m primarily into women, and I’m only interested in relationships with women, but I’m sometimes attracted to men and have enjoyed sex with men in the past. For various reasons, I decided a few years ago not to pursue physical…
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Savage Love: Committed
Is it terrible to believe you can still have a truly monogamous and loving relationship with one partner after 20 years? Or can we walk into a relationship knowing that within those decades of being together that situations like infidelity or being attracted to another is completely unavoidable? And if…
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Savage Love: It’s a Female-Led Relationship, Now Act Like It
My wife asked me to write to you about our situation. We’ve been married for 15 years. I am 50 years old and my wife is a decade younger. We are a heterosexual couple with kids. I am a submissive male and I like to play with my ass using…
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Savage Love: Cuckolding Role-Play a Go-Go or No-No?
I’m a lesbian in a long-term relationship. After much conversation with my partner we’ve decided to explore cuckolding role-play together. I’m not comfortable bringing another person into the relationship — especially right now — but I am willing to explore this as a fantasy. The thing is, I’m having a…
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Savage Love: Kinks and Gays
I have a question. I’m a gay man in a relationship and we’re both really happy since we met a year ago. We’re “open” in the sense that he wants the option to be intimate with someone else if a connection happens and in turn he said he would be…
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Savage Love: Who’s Blowing Up Your Phone?
I’m committed to my male partner and he’s committed to me. (I’m a woman.) But we both understand we need to flirt and that we will both want to sleep with someone else at some point. We live together, we have a dog, and neither of us believes in marriage.…
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Savage Love: Oral Reports
I’m a 32-year-old straight guy. My wife and I have been married for four years and together for nine. We have a great marriage and all is well. We have been quarantining at home since March. During this time, we have been exploring things sexually, which has been really fun.…
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Savage Love: Quick Clips and Other Livestream Leftovers
Hey, Everybody: We had our first Savage Love Livestream event last Thursday night and I had such a blast! A huge crowd of Savage Love readers and Savage Lovecast listeners got together on Zoom for a live online Q&A that raised more than $14,000 for Northwest Harvest, an organization that…
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Savage Love: Blinders
Here goes: I’m a 32-year-old gay male and I have trouble staying out of my head during sex. I feel like there may be many issues. The one non-issue is everything works fine on my own. When I’m single or “available,” I am OK. Let’s be honest: I’m a slut…
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Savage Love: Are Some People Hopelessly Bad at Sex?
I don’t want to become one of those people who write to you complaining about how I married someone I wasn’t sexually compatible with 10 years ago and now my sex life still sucks. I already know I need to break up with my boyfriend and I was about to…
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Savage Love: Hearing Voices and Listening to Logic
It’s taken a lot to do this but here goes. I am a 38-year-old gay male. I have been dating this guy for one year and 10 months. It’s been a lot of work. He cheated on me numerous times and he lives with me and doesn’t work and I’ve…
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