Advice
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Savage Love: Reunion Blues
I fell in love with my second cousin about four years ago at a family reunion. (I hadn’t laid eyes on him since I was a kid!) I was 15 when we met, he was two years older, and we were in a long-distance relationship for three years. We ended…
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Savage Love: Return of the Crabs
I’m a gay male in my forties and I’ve been married to my husband for nine years. There was some mild infidelity on his part (exchanging photos and flirting via text with another guy) early in our relationship. I confronted him at the time, and he lied to me. I…
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Savage Love: The Hall Pass and The Jackass
I’m a 19-year-old girl who was dumped few months ago. My partner found out he didn’t like my body when we were having sex for the first time and he told me right after. We were actually still in bed naked when he told me. He kept cuddling me to…
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Savage Love: Coming Out and Other Queer Quickies
I just attended the nauseating wedding of my 30-year-old niece to her boyfriend of several years. Both of them seem as gay as possible but they are diehard religious fanatics. I can list 50 signs these two are gay and once you point it out to someone who isn’t a…
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Savage Love: When OnlyFans Followers Aren’t Only Fans
I’m a 40-year-old gay male. I live in a big city, in a dense neighborhood. While I’ve been working from home during COVID, I’ve been sitting at my kitchen table facing a big window. Across the alley is an apartment with a deck. At one point, I noticed a cute,…
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Savage Love: Should I Disclose My Herpes Condition Before an Orgy?
We’re a happily married couple from Europe, longtime readers, both in our thirties, and both interested in having sex sometimes with other people. Before the pandemic we were invited to a private sex party in a major European capital. It was an age- and face-controlled swingers night with background checks…
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Savage Love: Don’t Let the Fuccbois Win
I’ve been living with my boyfriend for a year and need some relationship advice. We met on FetLife and I was honest about being in an open relationship (at the time) and seeking a sexual connection over a relationship. But one nut after another and pretty soon we were professing…
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Savage Love: Lubes, Strokes, and Permissible Secret Perving
I had a stroke a year ago. The woman I was dating at the time stepped away. I have no hard feelings but I long for intimacy again. I am profoundly grateful that I don’t have any major outward injuries from the stroke, but my stamina is still very low…
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Savage Love: Cheating With the Best Friend
I need your advice. My partner of 27 years has been sleeping with my best friend. This has been going on for a year and a half. As far as I knew, we had a monogamous relationship, even if things had gotten stale between us in recent years. And my…
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Savage Love: Getting the Shaft
I’m a European heterosexual girl and reading your column from afar has been a good way for me to better know the sex world! I am wondering if you have advice for me about a “faster” way to do blowjobs. Or rather a way to make my boyfriend come faster…
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Savage Love: Reconciling With the Alter Ego
I’m someone who does gay porn for a living. How do people who do gay porn meet someone who doesn’t just sexualize or fetishize them? I can’t eat, sleep, and breathe my work constantly but the guys I meet want me to live out the “porn persona” version of myself…
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Savage Love: The Sub Hits the Switch
You’ve said that everyone is entitled to a “zone of erotic autonomy.” I was wondering if you thought that “zone” extends to sending thousands of dollars to a “FinDom” (financial dominatrix). I’m a 33-year-old straight woman and I love my husband and we have a great (or so I thought)…
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Savage Love Quickies: Let’s Get Sexual
I have a quick question about bisexuality. What if one has a preference for dating straight individuals? As a straight woman, I am only interested in dating straight men. Is that some kind of phobia? Or is it okay for that to be a preference? I’ve always wanted to ask…
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Savage Love: Finding the Right Relationship
I’m a cis bi guy in my forties who doesn’t have a lot of experience with other men. I’m happily married to a wonderful woman who knows I’m bi, and while we’re presently monogamous, we’ve talked about opening things up in the future. If that happens, I’d like to casually…
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How to Grow Weed at Home: A Step-by-Step Guide
On March 31, Democrat Virginia Gov. Ralph Northam announced proposed changes to legislation passed in that state earlier in the year that would speed up the legalization of marijuana for Virginia residents by three years. The law that passed through the state legislature in February would have allowed adults in…
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Savage Love: After the Breakup
I’m a female in my late twenties. I broke up with a toxic ex about a year ago and I’ve been walking around (my house!) thinking I was over it. I never missed him and rarely thought about him. A brief backstory: In the final months of us living together,…
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