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Savage Love
Savage Love: Finding the Right Relationship
I’m a cis bi guy in my forties who doesn’t have a lot of experience with other men. I’m happily married to a wonderful woman who knows I’m bi, and while we’re presently monogamous, we’ve talked about opening things up in the future. If that happens, I’d like to casually…
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Savage Love
Savage Love: After the Breakup
I’m a female in my late twenties. I broke up with a toxic ex about a year ago and I’ve been walking around (my house!) thinking I was over it. I never missed him and rarely thought about him. A brief backstory: In the final months of us living together,…
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Savage Love
Savage Love: The Doghouse Can’t Be Forever
I’m a 29-year-old straight male. I’ve been with my 25-year-old partner for six years. I love her and think that we are perfect for each other. We have all the things that make existing with someone wonderful. But about two years into our relationship I had a two-week-long affair while…
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Savage Love
Savage Love: Should Couples Snoop?
I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2.5 years and we have a great relationship—or so I thought. Last week, I snooped on my boyfriend’s browser history and I don’t know what to do with what I found. I’m a longtime reader and Savage Lovecast listener SO I KNOW WHAT I DID…
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Savage Love
Savage Love Quickies: Relationship Woes
I want to thank everyone who attended our third Savage Love Livestream on March 13. Mistress Matisse was our very special guest and we tackled a lot of questions about BDSM over a very lively 90 minutes. We didn’t get to every question — there were so many — but…
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Savage Love
Savage Love: The Cuckold Dilemma
A male friend — not my best friend but a close one — told me his wife was really attracted to me, another male, and asked if I was attracted to her. His wife is an incredibly hot woman and I thought it was a trick question. I read your…
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Savage Love
Savage Love: Assholes Don’t Have Epiphanies
I’m having a problem advising a friend. She’s been through a divorce and now the breaking off of an engagement. To put it simply, both relationships ended because she was cheated on and she has a zero-tolerance policy around infidelity. To complicate matters, in each relationship we — her friends…
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Savage Love
Savage Love: Does a Cousin Count as Incest?
I am at a loss. I am devastated. I just found out my husband has been sexting with another woman. As if that wasn’t not bad enough, this woman is his first cousin! And this has been going on for years! I’ll give you a moment to recover from that…
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Savage Love
Savage Love: When You Lose Your Kinks
I know you and other sexperts say that kinks are ingrained and not something you can get rid of, but mine have all vanished! Ever since I started on antidepressants, my relationship with my body and how it reacts to pain — both physical and mental — has completely changed.…
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Savage Love
Savage Love: The Pressures of a Pandemic Sex Life
I’m a gay guy living in New York in his late twenties. Having been a frontline worker, my boyfriend has really been emotionally impacted by the pandemic. I think he is suffering from some mild depression or at the very least some intense anxiety so I just want to preface…
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Savage Love
Savage Love Quickies: Trouble With Intimacy
I’m a 30-year-old straight woman in a three-year relationship with my live-in partner, who is also 30. I love him and he loves me and he wants to make a life with me. However, in this pandemic, the stress is so great that I have lost all desire to have…
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Savage Love
Savage Love: Is My Boyfriend a Good Egg?
Sex-positive bi woman here. I have recommended your column to many people over the years to help them feel normal and human in their kinks, fantasies, sexuality, etc. But I’m having a more difficult time extending similar acceptance to myself. I was in a three-year relationship with a cis straight…
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Savage Love
Savage Love: The Harm in Hiding HIV Status
I could really use your advice. I recently found my boyfriend’s HIV meds while I was house-sitting for him and went into his cupboard for a multivitamin. We’ve been dating for a year and I had assumed he was negative. I’m negative myself and on PrEP and he is undetectable,…
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Savage Love
Savage Love: Cum Again
As you can see by my signature, Dan, I’m a linguist. On your podcast, you frequently ask researchers “whatchyougot” on all kinds of sex- and romance-related questions, I thought maybe you’d be interested in some expertise on linguistic matters too. And I have some on “cum,” “cumming,” and (shudder) “cummed.”…
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Savage Love
Savage Love: Should Parents Have Wild Sex with Kids in the House?
We’re an adventurous, bisexual, non-monogamous, opposite-sex couple with a teenage kid living in Europe. We don’t really struggle with finding and trying new and interesting stuff in bed. However, we do have a problem and it’s getting worse. Having sex is, well, weird, with a kid in the house. We…
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Savage Love
Savage Love: A Web of Relationship Drama
One of my very close friends, a lesbian, has been married for a couple of years now. It’s been nothing but drama since the day they met. My friend had a terrible home life growing up and doesn’t understand stability. She also has zero self-confidence. My friend and her wife…
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