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Savage Love
Savage Love: Hearing Voices and Listening to Logic
It’s taken a lot to do this but here goes. I am a 38-year-old gay male. I have been dating this guy for one year and 10 months. It’s been a lot of work. He cheated on me numerous times and he lives with me and doesn’t work and I’ve…
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Savage Love
Savage Love: Carrying Heavy Loads in a Marriage
I’ve been with the same amazing man for a dozen years. We’ve had our ups and our downs, same as any other couple, but these days life is better than it ever has been for us. Except in the bedroom. A few years ago he started having fantasies about sucking…
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Columns
Savage Love: Big Moves
I was raised in a religious home and didn’t lose my virginity until the embarrassing age of 26. I was told by the church to save it for marriage and I was a virgin until I met the woman who would become my wife at a party. I said to…
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Columns
Savage Love: The Grass Isn’t Always Greener
I am a super queer presenting female who recently accepted that I have desires for men. My partner of two years is bisexual and understands the desires, but has personally dealt with those desires via masturbation while my desires include acting. Her perspective is that the grass is greener where…
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Columns
Savage Love: The No-Corona Challenge
Your last two columns and your last two podcasts were all about the pandemic. Everything everywhere is all about the pandemic right now. Can you give it a rest? For maybe a week? Could you answer some questions that aren’t about pandemic? Any fun kink questions come in this week?…
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Columns
Savage Love: Open and Shut
My husband and I got married in August of 2019 and we were together for over five years before getting married. I’m very happy and love him with all my heart. I want to have his kids and support his entrepreneurial efforts as he supports mine. We don’t fight, we…
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Columns
Savage Love: Holed Up
My question is on managing “gray area” intimacies during the pandemic. I have a lover/friend that I’ve been hanging out with — fucking, drinking tea, going on hikes, eating ice cream, watching movies, and other activities — for about nine months. He’s 36 and was married for 10 years and…
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Columns
Savage Love: Quickies
DEAR READERS: I live in Seattle, the U.S. epicenter of the novel coronavirus epidemic, with my family. A lot of my readers wrote this week to wish us well. We are fine — scared, but fine — washing our hands compulsively and staying close to home. I’m going to keep…
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Columns
Savage Love: Brownie Points
I’m a cis bi woman, and I mainly have sex with people with penises. I have a really gross problem, sorry. It’s been an issue for as long as I’ve been sexually active — but in the past few years, it seems to have gotten worse. If I am being…
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Columns
Savage Love: Full-Throated
I’m a middle-aged gay man and I was recently diagnosed with sleep apnea. This is a disorder caused by the soft tissue in the throat collapsing during sleep. On top of making me feeling tired and awful all the time, sleep apnea is associated with a long list of health…
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Columns
Savage Love: Spit and Polish
I’m a 31-year-old cis bisexual woman. I’m hetero-romantic and in a monogamish relationship with a man. We play with other people together. I’ve never liked giving blowjobs because I was taught that girls who give blowjobs are “sluts.” Phrases that are meant to be insulting like “You suck,” “Suck it,”…
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Columns
Savage Love: Thrown Bones
I’m 20, straight, male, fit and active. I masturbated prone — flat on my stomach — for years. I’ve now changed to a more traditional position (on my back or sitting upright), and I’m using my hand rather than grinding against a mattress. I can easily orgasm when I masturbate.…
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Columns
Savage Love: The Girls
My boyfriend and I were having relationship issues until we tried something new: pegging. He wanted to try it, but he was afraid and sometimes said the idea disgusted him. Then we tried it, and it was better than normal vanilla or even kinky bondage sex. It was the most…
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Columns
Savage Love: Cam What May
I started reading your column when I was a 20-year-old kid. Now I’m an old married lady with 20 years of (more or less) blissful married monogamy behind me. My oldest daughter, who is 23, just came out to me as a sex worker. She’s been making a slim living…
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Columns
Savage Love: Rain Checks
I’m a 33-year-old woman in a relationship with a 43-year-old man. My boyfriend’s fantasy is to have a threesome with another man. He enjoys watching me have sex with other men and then intermittently fucking me. But he mostly likes to watch me get fucked. For a long time, my…
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Columns
Savage Love: The Long Game
I’m a 30-year-old bi male. I’ve been with my wife for five years, married nine months. A month into our relationship, I let her know that watching partners with other men has always been something I wanted and that sharing this had caused all my previous relationships to collapse. Her…
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